Partly due to my job and partly due to personal interest I subscribe to a lot of online email newsletters about fashion and beauty. I love fashion, I love beauty. I love discovering new brands, styles and new home beauty remedies. I usually like receiving and reading my many newsletters from the likes of beautyexpert, feelunique, wahanda, holland & barrett, the kooples, avenue32, the outnet, asos – you name it, if it’s fashion or beauty and it’s online then it is very likely I know it and subscribe to it.
Apart from two days ago when I received this newsletter from youbeauty.com. This newsletter just make me wonder why someone thought someone else should get paid to write such crock (I’m assuming someone got paid for this…? A someone who is a woman herself and is even supposed to have 15 years of experience in “providing psychotherapy” – no wonder some people don’t believe therapy is pointless and can’t help). It made me angry thinking about any vulnerable women out there who might be subscribed to this email with the best of interests in the hope getting some good advice, tips and insider information from the beauty industry. Not to mention impressionable young teenagers who might have received in their inboxes.
Newsletter subject line: “He Didn’t Cheat Because You’re Ugly”
…so before we go on tell you how it’s not because you’re ugly, let’s first trap you with this suggestion and feed your insecurities?
AND just to note – it doesn’t bloody stop there – open the email and you also get “the healthy way to wallow” and “new slim-down secrets” next to a holiday ad for the USA showing a giant thick pizza covered in cheese…
The irony of it all together makes me want to laugh and cry at the same time. But I do neither, I just go numb instead.
Sure, sure, sure – read the article a bit further and you realise that what they’re “really” saying is that it is not because you’re ugly. I guess you’re trying to make any readers who can relate to this understand that you understand them, that they are not alone, that their conclusions are understandable and that you are here for them without judging them for these thoughts of low self-esteem.
BUT WHY does this need to be the catchy title of this article? Why does it have to be the subject line of your newsletter? Capitalising on women’s insecurities? Feeding those very same insecurities that you are then going on to refute? You bang on about how this article is actually about self esteem – but first you feel the need to destroy any self esteem there may have been left to then re-build it and play the saving hero? What is this?!
And yes, I fully appreciate that the very website is “youbeauty” and not “youmind” or “yousoul” so yes they’re bound to focus on your looks and appearance but this still is grating –
“The factors that contribute to infidelity may involve individual and couple’s issues, but the ultimate responsibility lies with the one who cheated. It wasn’t caused by—and couldn’t have been prevented by—your size, shape or appearance.”
Uhm, why is cheating only to do with size, shape or appearance?
It’s all very well to add your little get-out-clause “but the ultimate responsibility lies with the one who cheated” – but why are you feeding women this complete and utter bullshit that it is only about “size, shape or appearance”…?! What about stress, unhappiness, frustration, lack of communication, feeling mis-understood by your partner or not understood at all, feeling weak, wanting to feel desirable to others outside your relationship because your partner doesn’t make you feel desired anymore, how about pure sad loneliness…and and and a million other non-physical reasons there might be???!!!!! WHAT ABOUT THEM?