Ok, so this is only going to be relevant to those of you dear readers that live in the UK. Within that, those that live in those places where they hand out that free weekly magazine called “Stylist”. I fully appreciate that for the rest of the world this is a bs blog post and even for you-in-London-who-reads-the-Stylist-every-week this might be a pants blog post, but either way I just really really need to get this off my titties chest.
Each week in the Stylist there is a column written by a certain Lucy M. Now, please don’t misunderstand me – I do not know her, I don’t know much about her (apart from stuff she’s written in the column), I don’t know why she is the way she is and she might be entirely justified in being so and dare I say it, she might actually even be a thoroughly lovely and enjoyable person in real life BUT she fucking annoys the living fuck out of me now that she’s back from her maternity leave and is writing her column again, I do wish she’d never come back.
Everything about her writing just s-c-r-e-a-m-s at you that she’s that woman who’s kind of old-in-the-brain, totally out of the loop, she’s really bitter about something though you can’t ever really figure out what it is, you do feel sorry for the guy that married her (but hey, self-inflicted shit), every thing she writes just drips of stale-gormless-middle class-mediocrity-without-taste-or-opinion (in a really nasal, whining, whingy voice) and you just can’t figure out WHY this woman has a column in a weekly publication that claims to be for strong, independent, stylish, urban women – when she is exactly NONE of that. She is everything this magazine should be avoiding like the plague if they want to be who they claim to be.
Now this lady was on maternity leave not very long ago and during her absence there was a weekly columnist filling her slot called Tanya Gold – and Tanya fucking rocked! Every week I looked forward to the Indian man at the tube station handing them out just to read her column – ONLY to read her column, her writing was (and is) witty, intelligent, funny, well-educated, open-minded, stylish and just plain interesting and really really fun, FUN, f-u-n to read. If I was late and the last copy had been handed out, I’d be distraught and my eyes would trawl the station and the tube carriage for a copy, I’d peer over shoulders of women with copies trying to catch a glimpse of Tanya’s awesome writing.
And you know what, now Tanya is gone and Lucy is back I actually say “no thank you” to the kind Indian man at the station with the stack of Stylists when he tries to hand me a copy. He always seems slightly confused (just for that split second before he decides he doesn’t care anyway), but then I don’t blame him if I remember my desperation to get my hands on a copy during the beautiful Tanya Gold times.
