no matter how much i despise my father for his complete lack of any human emotion and complete failure at human relationships. maybe i am not that much better at all. maybe i am just a diluted version of the same mess. how far does an apple fall from a tree.
how am i ever going to get better. i dont know and right this moment i dont think i ever will. again. bottom. rock bottom. i feel like i’ve gone diving off a 10m diving plank and never realised the pool was empty. i feel like i have hit a cold, hard, clean, sterile surface completely devoid of any remote emotion. its all just blank. very blank.
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